the gift in giving


Lately I’ve been mentally and emotionally running on empty, with minimal opportunity to refuel myself. Partly due to circumstances, partly due to my own internal struggles, however I won’t spend time elaborating.

Because today, I was encouraged. Even though I’ve been feeling emotionally burned out, I prayed to God, “Lord, even though I don’t have much to give in my current state, let me be a source of encouragement for my clients today. May you fill me and give me the strength to be a Giver.”

And miraculously, I was able to be present with my clients in our sessions despite my own personal struggles, listen and emote with them, intervene to the best of my ability. As I was doing an intake, a client said to me, “I want you to tell your supervisor that I think you’re terrific. You’ve been such a help to me and I really hope you, and your supervisor, acknowledge how terrific you are.”

At the time, I told her that I was glad to be of help to her. But as I reflected later, her words slowly sank in and touched me in a special way. I began crying, because I saw how even at my very weakest, God still uses me and wields His light through me. I was humbled as I saw how much I needed Him to get through the day.

Yet I was also encouraged. I realized that you don’t always need to be the Taker to get what you want… that you can, paradoxically, receive so much in simply giving. That sometimes, God will work in your heart as you heed His call and attend to others before yourself. Maybe there is a deep filling in that, that many of us don’t realize or have not yet experienced.

Today, it was my own source for recharge.


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